chron·i·cles: Sally Forth!

I still can't believe it!

A James Inspired Piece (puny, I know):

"Its was a crisp Florida morning and still in my old boarding school bath robe, I thought it a grand idea to make my lovely wife a tasty and nutritious lunch: Butternut Squash Bisque.

Being the culinary expert that I am, I grabbed the largest / sharpest knife that I could find and set to it. I started strong and ended.... well, I ended by cutting my finger off. My mind was totally and inexcusably somewhere else and when the knife slipped, it slipped down, around and over my pinkie.

My realization (now - not then): there really is more resistance cutting through a carrot than cutting through a pinkie.

My realization then? I cut my fucking pinkie off!!! The pain, I'm telling you, was Loud. It was instant and it screamed in my head and throughout my whole body. The craziest part was looking down and taking in the reality; seeing the meat and marrow (which is bright purple by the way!). I don't think there was more than 20 seconds before Jill was out of bed and we were in the car and speeding toward the ER, though of course it felt like an eternity. I can only imagine what it looked like to the doctors to have a screaming adult man running toward them with a just-long-enough bath robe and one-n-a-half slippers on (oh, yes, Pudge ate these slippers too).

The hospital was great. They promised to drug me just short of stopping my heart and they did. We were there for just about 13 hours in the end and I was the last surgery of the night. Our grand finale finds us still sans my little finger. They couldn't reattach it as apparently it becomes more and more difficult to do so the further away from the base of the hand the cut occurs. Besides, they apparently only save "important" fingers anyway - like the go-to pointer finger or the ol' faithful thumb.

This all sucks, but I'm feeling better about it today. Drugs help. I'm just really anxious to see what I'm left with now. You can follow up with my follow up appointment tomorrow after 1.

For the daring and those who haven't yet :::: photos are available and comments are welcome.

Best Nicknames To Date:
Jimmy 4 Fingers
James V9.5
009 & a half
Nubby (yes, a great nickname for Pudge too)