Dearly departed, we gather here today to say goodbye to Bed Buddy.
Bed Buddy, you have always been a dear friend - one who I could always count on to offer a warm embrace. I will forever miss your sunny disposition and how you radiated an celestial heat that penetrated me to the core.
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No one knows the exact cause of death - you've always loved the microwave before!
What we do know is that you were a bitch to pick up.
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And that smoke inhalation, like the Wu Tang, ain't nothing to f@#k with.
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