chron·i·cles: Sally Forth!

Parents say the darnedest things

and we kids listen.

Here are some of the slightly odd though shamelessly wise life lessons our friends can recall being taught.

Always get your meat from a butcher. 

When you move, set up your bed before you unpack anything else. That way you will have a place to drop your head when you've given up on the day. 

Do not cry because you have no shoes or else you will meet a man who has no feet. 

Following a particularly productive visit to the bathroom, dip some toilet paper in the fresh water to finish cleaning yourself up.

Never buy anything used. You'll only be paying good money for someone else's headache.

Never pee into the wind. 

Always check for ax murders in the backseat of the car when you get in. 

Never kill a tree that doesn't need to be killed. 

Never put shit in your eye. (oh yeah, that gem came straight from my own mother's lips circa 1994.)

Your turn!

Add some more words of wisdom to the comments section.