chron·i·cles: Sally Forth!

We all have them. Weird little, nut-so things we do when living alone... or at the very least spending three companion-less weeks in our apartments, as I have just done. With Matt returning today from three looooonnnng weeks in Texas opening a new restaurant, I'd like to reflect a little on  Solo Jill.

Mostly, I imagine, our bizarre single behaviors surface without us consciously taking notice, right? They're simply personality quirks that peak their heads out of hiding only when we're certain no one's looking.

Think! What do you do when no one else is around?

Me? Oh, I do lots of weird things. Scrunch my lips and chin up in thought, realize I'm doing it and then wiggle my nose to release my face. Sing this odd ditty I made up decades ago about "mummies and daddies." Walk around my apartment pretending to be Jeff Goldblum <---- okay, please believe I'm kidding about that one. 

I have a home-alone outfit that all hinges on knee high socks that I pull up so tightly the heel ends up stretched unforgivably above my ankle. Like rings on tree stumps, you can gauge the age of my socks by counting the hair dye stains on the bottom of my feet, as inevitably I squish beneath me the fallen droplets of my most recent dye job.  

This extended time alone has revealed some great Absolute Truths. One. When living alone, I can't make myself go to bed and then of course sleeping waaaay too late. I'm saying that by the time 4am rolls around every night, I'm practically negotiating with myself - "If you fall asleep right now, Self, I'll take you to get a massage in the morning. You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

Two. I lose a lot of weight. This was a noticeable change when I first split from my Former Hub all those years ago, and I thought then that it was because I was getting myself dating pool ready again. But I see now that it is so much more than that. When I'm cooking for one, I cook well, really well, and always (always) chose healthy ingredients. I just like them and it somehow feels like a treat to eat this healthy food, like they are not options when my honey is around. And once that trend starts, I run with it... and Pudge... literally. And I don't drink alcohol. It's just not a go-to thing for me when on my own. Junk food and booze, I realize, is such a major part of my relationship, which is odd considering Matt and I consider ourselves to be somewhat foodies.



Three. I am totally regimented. I get into a schedule and that's it. I do the same thing, the same way, everyday. Three weeks in now and I have to admit, my self imposed routine is getting pretty boring, but there is no way I would every change things up for myself. I see that Matt is great for me in this respect. He drags me out of my head and this constant obsession with getting things done and makes sure that I have some genuinely spontaneous fun. Oh yes, my Matt is a dirty little fun have-er and it's one of the greatest things about him. He also shrugs off structure like a damp sour blanket and so maybe I'm just as good for him.  

I also never speak, but I do talk... a lot! I type on my phone. I type on my computer. I motion silently to the dogs. Some days, the whole morning and afternoon will slip by without my having said a single word. I'll get to work for 5pm and find that my throat is dry and my voice is crackled. And this has set me thinking: Can you be equally introverted and extroverted? Can you avoid personal contact AND demand attention at the same time? Because that is definitely me. I don't want to be even acknowledged by another person until I'm ready and still, it is so important to me to be the focal point in the room. <---- that's a big piece of vanity I just dropped on you. Don't judge! 

Have you ever looked at the differences between the classic personality types? This post has inspired me to and, dude, I've had them totally wrong.

	Type A	Type B                Type C
Relationships	Hostile	Friendly	Cautious
Competitiveness	Aggressive	Only with self	Have to be right
Workplace Persona	Tense	Relaxed concentration	Methodical
Attitude toward change	Negative	Inevitable	Discomfort
Team Leader/Member	Intimidating	Accepting	Unsocial
Emotional Expression	Guard is up	Positive	Hidden
Handling criticism	Critical of it	Open to it	Sensitive to it
Typical jobs	"The Boss"	Sales, Marketing	Planning
Attitude toward others	Suspicious	Friendly	Wary
Flexibility	Rigid	Flexible	Inflexible
Impulse control	Impulsive	Spontaneous	Thoughtful
Time management	Everything's urgent	Appropriate to task	As much as needed

 Well, my sweetheart will be home in a couple of hours and it's time to put my plan into motion. I'm going to get all dressed up and do a sexy airport pick up. I'm talking hot pink dress, heels, a sign with his name on it as if I were his hired driver and as an added bonus, a bottle of his favorite whiskey. Men are all about the visual, right? Someone's going to eat their heart out, if its the last thing I do!